Communication

People get on people's nerves. This is because people have different perceptions and ideas. Sometimes its not so complicated as opposing perspectives so much as it is that someone is completely right and just in their view and another is completely wrong. This is the case sometimes, though the tricky part is judging and verifying who that is. Many people don't even believe that there is right and wrong. This is ironically a grand example of a completely wrong view point.
       
           People fight, people scream and shout, its hard to know, what it's all about. People break relationships, become angry, refuse to speak to some, love to speak to others, enjoy one's company, and enjoy another's not so much. I think most of the fights people have are nothing but communication errors. Now we are all not William Shakespeare. Some of us have trouble portraying in just the right words how they feel and why. I know I sometimes struggle with this.
              There are people in my life that have vowed never to speak to me again, and people who would be very sad if I spoke not a word to them for the length of only a day. I miss those who only exist in my past, but love and appreciate all of those who are here today alongside me. I am sure this is true for everyone.
             Many times people are victims of their environmental influences. One's parents may communicate by physical gestures and be men and women of few words. Another may have been born to the long-winded poets that have little physical activity at all lol. These offspring thrust into a predicament may have trouble communicating as this poet's son may not be familiar with what these gestures mean and the charades girl may be clueless as to why this boy speaks on and on and doesn't just show her what he means. So they become angry with each other and deem the other unreasonable people. This surely can't be fair.
             A boy may have been taught that you express love with money and the things you buy for people as a measurement of your feelings. A girl may have been exposed to the idea in childhood that if he gives you money than he doesn't love you and the relationship means nothing to him. He may actually feel love and so does she. But she never buys him anything so he feels unloved. He never stopped giving her money which is the believed symbolism of indifference in her mind. Fights are generally repercussions of dynamic clashes in two people's interactions. Though the viewpoints of either may never actually be delivered in a way that the other can understand throughout the relationship. This is unfortunate.

               There are only a couple things that can hinder the solving of these issues. One is that one or both of these people are closed-minded. They may be resistent to all consideration for anyone's perspective but their own. This is impossible to deal with. (Note now though that there is a fine line between people who refuse to try to understand and people who do understand but disagree.) In situations such as these what is one to do? If every approach leads to no avail and it doesn't matter what you did or how you did it, then there just can't be a solution. It's true, you can't change people that don't want to be changed.
              
      Though I feel that so many arguments could be corrected and appeased so that both people are happy and I feel strongly about making disagreements irradicated because the alternative to perpetual impasses leads to seperation and or other terrible things in a relationship. I have "Mr. Fix it" syndrome which I have always considered to be both a character flaw and a blessing; a virtue associated with patience and persaverence. It just depends I suppose.

        There is no doubt I have been unreasonable in situations for the complete motivation of getting what I want. I believe that we have been in there. Though I wander how many disagreements and fights and issues in the world could have been fixed if both parties had thought to themselves why this person in front of them is standing where they are with the words they are saying. On grand and small scales alike, I wander what could have become of this world in the incalcualable amount of chain reactions that happen every day.

                                Where does that put us today? Well my advice is to stop the next time that there is an obstacle with another person. To stop and consider before you respond negatively just why this person feels this way. That of course only does so much if this person is out of bounds morally or simply an unreasonable person. Just remember that we all become unreasonable, so my second challenge is to stop to yourself and wander why YOU feel the way you do and are saying what you are saying. Think about what happened to make it so; is it just hormones? That surely isn't worth upsetting someone you care about just to vent because of a chemical state. What if it is unrelated to anything in your life as it relates to this person? Don't yell at that special someone because mom and dad didn't give you permission to attend the party. Don't lash out at the co-worker because that special someone made you feel bad.
      You ever feel like you two are fighting about nothing but for whatever reason you feel strongly about it? Well many fights i theorize are just nothing but ventalation of built up annoyances that you just suppressed in your mind and choose to ignore. However they add up over awhile and may cause what seems like a volcano eruption over nothing. Challenge numer 3: Talk out what you feel even if it isn't a big deal. It can prevent further disruption in a relationship. 'Pick your battles' doesn't really fit into personal relationships with someone close to you.

Okay and one last note...ALWAYS TALK ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL WITH AT LEAST SOMEONE!!!

I'm sorry but I have encountered some very upsetting personal experiences recently with people I truly love and care about who just decided that talking about personal feelings is pointless. Some people just like to pretend that everything is okay and this is just silly. Reach out to those who may seem hesitant to speak up about what troubles them. If you can consider that a fourth challenge.

Once again this is Kel's Insight and as always I hope everything was put clearly, in sight. A great day to all and thanks for reading